Pre-Apocalyptic Blues

You can read it in the paper
Or watch it on the news
Everybody’s got the pre-apocalyptic blues
You better be ready when the shit goes down
You better head on down to Costco
Get you a bucket full of rice and beans
A year’s supply of 2-ply for your composting latrines
So you’ll be ready when the shit goes down
Don’t hesitate don’t procrastinate
Or you’ll all be running scared
There ain’t no second chances for brave or impaired
Did you know there’s a couple of commies' hiding underneath your bed
And the zombies gonna eat up all the brains in your head
I got a Rambo knife with a compass
And ballistic bug out bag
Got a AK47 'bout a hundred Dexter Mags
Gonna be ready when the shit goes down
You know what I’m talking about
Isis and Al-Qaeda
About a billion red Chinese
You say you ain’t worried and I say honky please
You better be ready when the shit goes down
By my Jacuzzi there’s an Uzi and an RPG
Got a stinger missile mounted on my SUV
They won’t get to me no matter who they are
I got land mines buried all over my yard
'Cause I read it in the paper
I watched it on the news
And now I’ve got the pre-apocalyptic blues
I’m gonna be ready when the shit goes down
Well you be ready when the shit goes down