Anxiety

I struggle with these choices and decisions
Constant lies and contradictions
When real life is finally fiction
And I feel like that I’m the victim
I’m self-battling existence
While time traveling dimensions
Now I’m out searching for directions
All 'cause I’m learning, asking questions
Turns out curses were just lessons
Nurture the purpose and a message
And the only thing we sure for certain
Is the person hurting gets the blessing
Is worth being perfect and obsessing?
Long nights surfing on the web and
Worried I’ma burst in with a weapon
Will my life get worse am I regressing?
Dwelling on the problems not the progress
Can’t tell if I’m cold or am I conscious
And the content of the conversations I hold
Are commonly just nonsense, so I sent
Signals to my friend to rescue me
Pocket vibrates, who just texted me?
Please be ex-of-me, that’d be ecstasy
But it be the homie sitting next to me
The text would read, something about a recipe
Peanut butter, two crackers and the rest was weed
Said, «I'ma do that for my breakfast, b»
Then I took a huge nap, had a restless sleep
Nothing more loud than anxiety
Except mine, so quiet it could hide in me
I said nothing more loud than anxiety
Except mine, so quiet it could hide in me