I Am the Cool

I’m the one your mama warned you about
When you see me, I will leave you no doubt
I’m the coolest man that ever walked this earth
I’ve been the coolest since the day of my birth
I am the cool
I drive a little red sports car, as you plainly can see
Them young girls, I can’t keep 'em away from me
You know Madonna? Well I saw her yesterday
Had too many women so I pushed her away
Walked into the Paramount Hotel in New York City
There were 72 women there just waiting for me
Just one problem with all these women so fine:
So many of them, so little time
I am the cool
I wear the coolest clothes that ever could be
I look so good even Calvin Klein stares at me
Red bands on my hat, a glass of chavvers in my hand
One look at me and the little girls understand
Someone come up with a gun to steal the rolex off my wrist
Two seconds later he was down with one blow of my fist
I dragged his sorry ass to the town in the middle of the day
I hung him up on a flagpole with a sign, «Don't mess with Screamin' Jay»
I am the cool
The finest restaurants, well they all know me by my name
They gave me the best table and send everyone else away
Pheasant under glass, lobster and steak tartar
Finished it off with a fine cuban cigar
Headed on back home to my penthouse suite
With a fine young lady who’s good enough to eat
She feeds me grapes and cheese and opens a Dom Perignon
We made love until the night time’s gone
I am the cool
Frozen
Cold
Icicles on the toes
I am the cool
I’m winter
I’m a blizzard