Kickin' Calf

Like a Pilgrim to the Guru
You came looking for advice.
You want to know what to do
Before you roll the dice.
The Game of Love’s a gamble, son,
Each time you take a chance
Every day a heart is lost or won
In the Crapshoot called romance.
You want to know if she’s the one
When she sets your heart a-flutter,
Or will she just use you up
Then throw you in the gutter?
Oh, You can call me crazy
You can call me daft
But in the hard-knock school of Love
I’m the master of this craft.
You may think it’s funny,
Yeah, go ahead and laugh.
But just remember son,
A kickin' cow’s gonna raise a kickin' calf.
Will you be her Shining Knight,
Her one and only shmo?
Or will her fancy just take flight
There’s just one way to know.
There’s just one place you have to look
That will tell you like no other.
Before the is set
Get to know her mother.
You want to know if she’s the one
When she sets your soul a-flame,
Or will she just burn you
like love was just a game?
You can call me crazy,
You can call me daft
But in the hard-knock school of Love
I’m the master of this craft.
You may think it’s funny,
Yeah, go ahead and laugh.
But just remember son,
A kickin' cow’s gonna raise a kickin' calf.
Listen to the childhood tales
Spilling from her sister,
Respect her father, befriend her brother,
Just don’t tell them that you kissed her.
If you truly want to see
The kind of woman she will be
From a source that’s like no other,
You’ve got to get to know her mother.
So before you set your mouth in gear
And ask her to say «I do,»
Take a look in the Mother Mirror—
There’s your future staring back at you!
You can call me crazy,
You can call me daft
But in the hard-knock school of Love
I’m the master of this craft.
You may think it’s funny,
Yeah, go ahead and laugh.
Just remember that I warned you,
Gonna raise a kickin' calf…
You can call me crazy,
You can call me daft
But in the hard-knock school of Love
I’m the master of this craft.
You may think it’s funny,
Go ahead and laugh.
But just remember son,
A kickin' cow’s gonna raise a kickin' calf.
A kickin' calf… A kickin' calf…
A kickin' calf…
Yeah, a kickin' cow’s gonna raise a kickin' calf.