Mean Old Man

I ain’t from nowhere near Kentucky
No right to sing them southern blues
I’m from Toronto, snowy city
From a neighbourhood of Jews
Don’t get no high from Blue Ridge Mountains
I get no buzz from Bowling Green
After a long day on the golf course
I like to take a little steam
That mean old man, who gives the plaitzas
Hot, foamy eucalyptus leaves
He hits so hard, my skin is burning
Well you should see the welts he leaves
That mean old man
They want to play a little poker
Promise me I won’t lose my shirt
Every mensch, a Cuban smoker
I can’t sit down, my butt still hurts
That mean old man, who gives the plaitzas
Hot, foamy eucalyptus leaves
He hits so hard, my skin is burning
Well you should see the welts he leaves
That mean old man
That mean old man, he’s here on Sundays
And that’s when all the regulars show
Turn up the heat, these are the fun days
Hey, it’s my turn. I gotta go!
That mean old man, who gives the plaitzas
Hot, foamy eucalyptus leaves
He hits so hard, my skin is burning
Well you should see the welts he leaves
That mean old man