Yo Mama So

Oh, well, that makes two of us
Except I was thinking about yo mama
Er, what you’ve been thinking?
Oh, you first
Yo mama’s so cuddly
That puppies watch YouTube videos of her
Yo mama’s so bold
She’s featured on the toolbar of Microsoft Word
Yo mama’s so wise
Yoda often texts her for advice
Yo mama’s so nice
I gotta say it twice
She’s nice, nice
Yo mama’s so pleasant
That instead of sweating
Her body emits a continuous gentle breeze
Yo mama’s so precious
That Gollum was like «What ring?» (Gollum)
Yo mama’s so adaptable
That Darwin wrote a book about her
Entitled «The Origin of the Denises»
Yo mama’s name is Denise, right?
No, it’s Trudy
But she’s so accomodating
She’ll probably answer to it
Yo mama’s so musical
That I confuse yo mama with Yo-Yo Ma
Yo mama’s so chill
That she addresses me as «brah»
Yo mama’s so full of joy and cheer
She put the detergent industry out of business
Yo mama’s so dazzling
That your dad glues her to the outside of your house at Christmas
Yo mama’s so environmentally conscious
That she can read the thoughts of trees
Yo mama’s so creative
MacGyver brings her things and he’s like
«What can I do with these?»
Yo mama’s so brave
That if I saw her fighting a bear
I would pray for the bear
Yo mama’s so compassionate
That she knits sweaters for homeless kittens
Made out of her own hair
Yo mama’s so energetic
That she equals mass times the speed of light
To the second power
Yo mama’s so clean
That she makes the soap feel dirty
When she’s taking a shower
Yo mama’s so magnetic
That she’s even got pull with Magneto
Yo mama’s so enjoyable
She’s like a hug wrapped in laughter
Wrapped in a magic show
Wrapped in a delicious chicken burrito
Yo mama’s so indescribably awesome that…
How indescribably awesome is she?
I’m having a hard time describing her
Yo mama’s so intelligent
That she makes me feel inferior
When I don’t use words good
Yo mama’s so crafty
That she built a fully functional smartphone
Out of glitter and balsa wood
Yo mama’s so outgoing
That she is at this very moment in space
Yo mama’s so careful
That she keeps her iPhone case
In an iPhone case case
Yo mama’s so unpredictable
That psychics refuse to give her a reading
Yo mama’s so persuasive
That she convinced a cop that pulled her over
That he was speeding
Yo mama’s so stable
That horses are like, «Yo, can we stay with you?»
Yo mama’s so resilient
That she sprinkles her cereal with bird flu
Yo mama’s so loving
That I wish she was my mama
You saying you wanna trade mamas?
If that’s what you’re suggesting
Then perhaps, yes
Would that make us brothers?
I don’t think so
But if… if yo mama became my mama
But my mama stayed my mama
I think then would we… we would be brothers
No, I would just be a motherless child
You would have two mothers
Well, maybe we should just hang out
The four of us, more often