Photoshop Your Memories

You pull out your photos of your wedding in the spring
And you’re confronted by your double-chin and your bald spot glistening
You could get a membership
At the fitness hut down the road
Or you could pick your mouse up
And slim yourself down
And even give yourself a fro
Your high-school reunion
Is coming next Friday
And you know everyone
Will ask to see some
Pictures of the babies that you’ve made
But the problem is
Your kids head is big
I mean we’re talking alien size here
Well just cut and paste a hat
Or at least a do-rag
And it won’t seem so severe
Photoshop your memories
A picture’s worth
A thousand words
So a few white lies
Shouldn’t hurt
Your birthday
This past Monday
Was a fun day
Except for one thing
Your mother-in-law
Who makes your skin crawl
Stuck her face in every frame
You’d prefer
To remember
That day without
Her tattooed brows
The simplest solution
Decrease the resolution
And crop that woman out
Photoshop your memories
Your real life may be sub-par
But you can be who you want people to think you are
Make yourself thin
Give yourself abs
Remove that mole
Say no to crack
Say you went to the alps
In a luxury car
With a Swedish model
Just be who you want people to think you are
Photoshop your memories
A picture’s worth
A thousand words
So a few white lies
Shouldn’t hurt