Genius Next Door

Some said the local lake had been enchanted
Others said it must have been the weather
The neighbors were trying to keep it quiet
But I swear that I could hear the laughter
So they jokingly nicknamed it the porridge
'Cause overnight that lake had turned as thick as butter
But the local kids would still go swimming, drinking
Saying that to them it doesn’t matter
If you just hold in your breath 'til you’ve come back up in full
Hold in your breath 'til you’ve thought it through, you fool
The genius next door was busing tables
Wiping clean the ketchup bottle labels
Getting high and mumbling German fables
Didn’t care as long as he was able
To strip his clothes off by the dumpsters
At night while everyone was sleeping
And wade midway into that porridge
Just him and his secret he was keeping
If you just hold in your breath 'til you’ve come back up in full
Hold in your breath 'til you’ve thought it through, you foolish child
In the morning the film crews start arriving
With donuts, coffee, and reporters
The kids were waking up hungover
The neighbors were starting up their cars
The garbageman were emptying the dumpsters
Atheists were praying full of sarcasm
And the genius next door was sleeping
Dreaming that the antidote is orgasm
If you just hold in your breath 'til you’ve come back up in full
Hold in your breath 'til you’ve thought it through, you foolish child