A Handshake Will Do

Well, I was at the hardware store the other day
You know I’m a big «do-it-yourselfer»
My wife says «I need you to do this»
And I said «do it yourself»
Ha ha, I really didn’t say that
Anyway, this time she convinced me to f‌ix a clog in the sink
So I went to the hardware store
I saw a guy there I’d seen a couple times before
And he came up to me and I held out my hand to shake
'Cause I’m a friendly guy like that, but he didn’t shake my hand
He came right in and gave me a big hug
And I thought, whoa that’s kinda strange
I’ve only met this fella a couple times before
But he kept huggin' me and it was really weird
Just to be honest with you, and I didn’t know what to do
I was purchasing a pipe wrench and a P-trap
When I got bear hugged by a guy I barely know
He hung on a little long
It was awkward, it was wrong
Guys let’s stop huggin' when a handshake will do
Now I ain’t sayin' it’s wrong to show emotion
Kissin' cheeks in France may not be taboo
But in your hometown hardware store
Keep in mind that less is more
Guys let’s stop huggin' when a handshake will do
'Cause there’s a time and a place
To share an embrace
Like when your brother comes home from the Army
Or you haven’t seen your Dad in a year or two
Yeah times like that are fine, but it’s time to draw the line
Guys let’s stop huggin' when a handshake will do
Don’t fist bump me, don’t hand jive me
Don’t slap rump me, don’t high five me
Let’s just shake hands like Americans
And hug when you’re s’posed to
Like when your 10 year old boy scores a touchdown
And maybe when your best friend says «I do»
Oh yeah, times like that are fine, but it’s time to draw the line
Guys, let’s stop huggin' when a handshake will do
Guys, let’s stop huggin' when a handshake will do
I said Holster that hug hoss
A handshake will do
Or I just might have to take your «Man-Card»
And that’s all there is to it