The Ugly One

Well my buddy Scotty, was feelin' kinda down
A fork tounged woman done run him in the ground
So I took him to the bar, we were scopin' the room
We spotted a coupe girls and said hey y’all
One was a fox, the other was a dog
So I said Scotty boy, here’s what I’m willin' to do
I’ll take the ugly one
The one who looks just like Atilla the Hun
With that drug store perm, and them long red hairs on her chin
Yeah I’ll be glad to take one for the team
I’m pretty sure you’d do the same for me
Yeah I’ll take the ugly one brother ain’t I a damn good friend
Then Scotty said Ray man we can find two more
That homely Thing looks like she could chew through a door
I’d never expect you to go and do such an unselfish deed
I said nonsense brother
You need to see what its like
To get your world rocked by that sweet thing tonight
I’ll chat up her sidekick there, don’t you worry bout me
I’ll take the ugly one
Somebodys daughters lookin' more like a son
How’d she squeeze that behind
In them high waisted Wal-Mart jeans
I bet shes rockin' granny painties tonight
Lord, I hope nobody turns on the lights
Yeah I’ll take the ugly one, aww but buddy you gonna owe me
Well it turns out old rovers pretty BFF was havin' herself a pretty bad day
And I heard that ugly thing whisper to her
And she rolled her eyes my way
You know what she said?
She said
I’ll take the ugly one
You get with scotty there y’all have fun
I’ll see how long I can stand this neanderthal man
Girl he ain’t no Brad Pitt!
I better get to drinkin' heavy tonight
Won’t have to kiss the fool if I pass out
Yeah I’ll take the ugly one girl, aww but you better remember this shit
Ouch
Well I reckon that’s what I get for being such a jackass