Getting There

I wanted to be able to say, «I'm doing so much better than the last time that
you saw me
I go to sleep by ten. Something later on the weekend
And I feel so connected to everything and everyone, it’s exhilarating.»
But that would be a lie
I’m doing a little better but I’m not that guy
It’s tough being around you because you knew me back when
Back when I was funnier and brighter not just bummed out and tired
These expectations are killing me
Like i’m supposed to be someone I wish I could be
I’m not quite better but I’m getting there. I’m not quite better yet
And in a quiet moment I find I kind of like myself
Then some days the anger returns and I have to find a reason to smile
Because you’re only as stable as your last breakdown
And I don’t think I’m able to understand the world right now