War Hero

You told me stories about when you were young
You’re not a war hero, but you’re well hung
You told me you were seeking an LTR
Pulled down my trousers and got real hard
And I just went with it
Because secretly I hate confrontation
You told me you could play with my ass
I deflected and told you I could play guitar
And then rolled my eyes hypothetically
Because truthfully, I found you crass
And when I told you I was not into it
You got upset and told me to exit
And that really hurt
Because I thought I was more than a punchline