Pulse

Dear Rudiff
You know, I’m thinking that I’ve had enough secrets
I been open-handed, and I got nothing to lose
But what’s left to gain?
Is it worth all that shame?
In this world, I feel intangible, not tethered to reality
Brushing your mirror ‘cause it’s taking my place right here for now
It’s glinting so clear, every star I see is full
How churlish of me not to ask permission…
Been preoccupied with wishing that Earth would take existence from me
I’m hardly outside my head anymore
Still waiting on your approval
More times than I realized
I was left unfinished—diminished
I still don’t get it yet
‘Cause I give my everything
But it seems even you don’t have my back…
And I’m left in the corner, pushing harder—a martyr!
-The promised fracture
No, I shouldn’t step forward
I done lost all of my nerve
Before my innocence splintered
And then blew away, I was dreaming better days
But no, that’s something I cannot relate to
No pain—can't feel anyway
My turn to escape was a rat, and it’s been displaced
I bent this way ‘cause you’re the only person I can trust!
I’m hardly outside my head anymore
Still waiting on your approval
Well here I go, writing letters to ghosts
I just don’t understand, where have you been?
Now, I planned the way this will shoot
Flirt with a lie, man—that's what I do
If I can see it, then I can fear it
And if I owned it, I could just tear it down
Instead of staring me down
Why don’t you help me by clearing this out?
If I can’t see, then I won’t fear it
I always thought you would be here for me
It’d be nice to finally hear a friendly voice just like my own
I shouldn’t be ashamed…
A life—a pulse, what more could I ask for?
Maybe I’m just feeling aged
Maybe I’m just lonely
-Tru
Innocence splintered and then blew away
I was dreaming better days
But it seems even you didn’t have my back
I’m hardly outside my head anymore
Still waiting on your approval
And here I go, writing letters to ghosts
I just don’t understand where you have been