Father

Yeah, alone in this room, just me and my conscious
Wondering if the lord’s really watching cause
If he is then tell me why I’ve been going through hell
Lately and I just don’t feel like heavens an option
Look, I feel the guilt pouring in
I wonder if he feels my pain
Cause everyday its getting more intense
Moms could barely afford the rent
Had to do some shady shit to survive
But I just hope the lord forgives
Is he forgiving like they say he is
Is there anyway away from this
Is there even anyplace where kids go when they pass away
I heard somebody say there is
But I don’t know who to trust no more
And grandma said I really shouldn’t cuss no more
But I just tell her «I'mma try» and knowing I’mma stay the same
I try to change so many times, I can’t adjust no more
Shit, but father when will I see more smiles and frowns
Where do I go when I’m buried deep in the ground
Father why is the world never holding me up
I feel like I’m always letting you down
I feel like I’m always letting you down
I feel like I’m always letting you down
I often wonder bout who I’m a disappointment to
But no matter how good you do, they still point at you
Sometimes I don’t know how I get through the day
Cause even though you see me smile, it don’t mean I’m okay
I just don’t wanna be bothered with questions
Father why these cats always causing problems
I’ve been constantly stressing
Shit, I wonder if he’s even listening to me
Searching for answers, but ain’t nobody giving em' to me
Plus my girl needs attention, I can feel the tension
My pops is on a drinking binge
And he’s on the break of an intervention
But he taught me so much with only his actions
What I learned from him, he would never imagine
If there was something that I would want him to know
Every mistake he made, it was all meant to happen
No time wasted cause I learned from it all
Made me a better man inside, made me learn when I fall
There’s always a reason to get back up on your feet
So if you hear me lord, I hope you could answer this for me
Father when will I see more smiles and frowns
Where do I go when I’m buried deep in the ground
Father why is the world never holding me up
I feel like I’m always letting you down
I feel like I’m always letting you down