Natasha Lost

I smile, I shake
And the opera continues
And I’m quite submissive to the world I am in
My previous life is slipping away from me
My distant past is gone, is gone
And the rest of the night
I can’t take my eyes from him
His glittering eyes
And his tender smile
And as I am leaving
Flushed and nervous
He touches my arm
And I turn around
And he’s looking at me
With his glittering eyes
And his tender smile
O God! I am lost!
How could I let him?
Everything is dark, obscure, and terrible
I don’t understand this
Oh God, I am lost!
Back in the theater, full of lights
Where tenors jumped about in tinsel jackets
Young girls and old men cried «Bravo!» in rapture
There it all seemed simple
But now, alone,
I am tortured
My conscience gnaws away at my heart
Am I spoiled for Andrey’s love or not?
Oh, I can soothe myself with irony:
Nothing! It was nothing
I didn’t lead him on at all
No one will ever know
I’ll never see him again
Nothing has happened
And Andrey can love me still
Oh, God, why isn’t he here?
And yet it was like there was nothing between us
No veil, no modesty
Just his face and strong hands
His glittering eyes
And his tender smile
That bold handsome man who pressed my arm