Helen's Lament

Helen:
I can’t do this any more
I’m not that strong i can’t go on
I can’t do this any more
I wish for home, but there’s nowhere to go
I had a show and i had friends
I loved them both until the end
Even if it all was just a dream
Outside that dream it’s cruel and mad
There’s nothing out here that i have
My heart cannot break any more it seems
All my dreams are gone and dead
I’m broken deep inside my head
I’m tired i want to wish it all away
I love you both i really do
You’ll be here when i am through
Remember me when it was better days
Was I a girl like the cabaret said
Talking with Shira at night in our bed
Saturdays scolding Han on the stage
Laughing with Henry and smiling with Hank
Was I named Gabby, stealing kisses with Jade
Did i live on the streets, stab my dad in a rage
Too many verses of too many songs
And the one life i think that i loved is now gone
So i ran to the carnival, thought i belonged
I ran and i sang me a carnival song
It was weird it was wild and then it went wrong
Like it has before and will again before long
So i watch my lIfe shatter, again and again
My mind fall apart, my whole world end
And all that i lived for believed and i hoped
There’s no where to go where it hasn’t broke
When the story of your life becomes unfurled
And you find that it was just a fabrication
And all you loved or thought you had or thought you lost
Was just an exercise in baseline exploitation
But sometimes people shine so bright and seem so real
Sometimes people shine so bright they’re all you feel
Han you’re the only one i’ve loved
Please don’t hate me when me when im gone
Now you and henry can be free
Sometimes spare a smile for me
The light died upon our fair lives
But it rose with you on that stage
You were my friends i loved straight to the end
Of miss helen’s last pace from disgraced cabaret