(Why I'll Never Be) Clean Again

take a look at my life
do you see what I need?
(you) better give me the knife
(you) better leave me to bleed
I hate my lies — I hate myself
I hate my lies — I hate myself
take a look in my eyes
do you see what I see?
(you) better take my advice
(you) better listen to me:
I can see I will never be home again
I can see I will never be whole again
I can see I will never be free again
I can see I will never be me again
read my mind —
now you can see
why I’ll never be clean again
I could lift you up,
be your clown, make you smile
I will fuck you up,
take you down, make you cry
take a look in my face
and then kiss me goodbye
don’t you know that I like to be a scapegoat?
(you) better drop all your faith
(you) better leave me to die
don’t you know that I like to be a scapegoat?
I can see I will never be home again
I can see I will never be whole again
I can see I will never be free again
I can see I will never be me again
(I hate my lies — I hate myself)
(I hate my lies — I hate myself)
read my mind —
now you can see
why I’ll never be clean again