Psychotic Feeling

How can it be done?
How can we escape from this indigent state?
We try for so long, and now I’m afraid it might happen too late
I get the sense you look at me like at some distant star;
I never really could accept how taciturn you are
But why does it feel
Like the choir is weeping
And the conductor is reeling?
It’s such a psychotic feeling
I wish I could talk
I wish I could live like there was nothing to hide
I wish that you knew how completely I’m struggling inside
Will you stay or will you turn away from me like them
When you start to understand how cynical I am?
But can you say it doesn’t feel
Like a skeleton has melted
And the wallpaper’s peeling?
It’s such a psychotic feeling
Faster, faster, faster --
I wanna come back to you
Oh but my head is so full of this horrible light
It just attacks
I can’t fight back