Butterscotching Mr. Lynn

I like you because you look like a giraffe
Stretching out its neck to get to fruit in a tall tree
You’re always occupied with girly things
Your room is filled with girly posters
Of teen idols and roller coasters and funny things like that
You’ve got a red and purple striped stuffed animal cat
That takes up half the bed
I like to pretend you’re made out of
A drawbridge operator’s favorite radio program
«Argh, you’re listening to 81.3, sound of the sea»
While I’m training troops in parachutes how to act frou-frou
So when their sergeants return from butterscotching Mr. Lynn
They can do the Charlston while I paint
The face of Private Fontaine on his enemy’s face
And do the same to him until the ballroom’s filled
With soldiers wondering if they like themselves
And all are forced to forgive and forget