Panic

Today is going to be easy
Today 'cause you’re not around
I’ll leave off my makeup
I’ll sleep in my bed
To pass all the time by
Today 'cause you’re not around
Today you won’t be around
I concentrate on empty spaces
A passive pondering of blackness
Sit down shut up controlled obsessions
Your absence, it exhausts me
I always panic when I’m left
Today I feel destructive
Today who cares about myself?
I’ll live in denial
And I’ll beat up my head
And I’ll eat all the chocolate
Today 'cause you’re not around
Today you won’t be around
I can’t control my feelings
I sip on dreams and choke on real things
Detach myself for preservation
I struggle to not want you
I always panic when I’m left
Is it healthy that we met?
If you stop coming will I forget?
I always panic
Today is going to be simple
Today 'cause you’re not around
My heart will pound lazy
No one to impress
No smile is required
Today 'cause you’re not around
Today you won’t be around