Why I Cry

Lady, I have been told that you only date nice guys
Well, if that’s how you judge a lover’s worth
Your ass just hit pay dirt
I’m the most sensitive man on God’s green Earth
Here’s a rose bouquet
I also baked you some fresh creme brûlée
Now mount this stallion and we shall ride
While also flying kites
Make love inside a rainbow through the night
Then after sex I’ll cry, cry
And also before sex I’ll cry, cry
Girl, you know how I feel about you
It’s like you’re a fossil sample
And I’m an impatient paleontologist
Cause I want to date you badly
Watch a film with me
I love boring romantic comedies
Hop in my carriage, this is like your dream
Any movie we see can be a drive-in movie
If we build up enough speed
Now it’s almost dawn
I can communicate with newborn fawns
Now they’ll perform an ancient forest dance
That will melt off your pants
Take my junk by the hand, this is romance
And during sex
I’ll cry
Thinking about sex
Makes me cry
Even when I use a sextant I cry
They measure angles
Cry…
Sorry, was that too sensitive for you?
Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine
I’ll just be over here, thinking about a duckling
Riding on the back of a puppy
Also the duckling is wearing a tiny cowboy hat
Slightly tilted