Accidents Will Happen

All the dreams you’re having
You stole them all from me
I was having dreams like that
Back in 1973
Groovy Boo is banging the ivories
In his ancient overcoat
Stuffing all his rage and anger
Down that old piano’s throat
Accidents will happen
That’s what accidents are for
Accidents will happen
And an accident is just an accident
I walk through the swinging door
See my old girl Mabel
Her jawbone hits the floor
And her eyeballs roll around the table
In a clever act of misdirection
I manage with some finesse
To scale the ladders in her stockings
And creep into her dress
Accidents will happen
We’ve all had 'em many times before
And coincidences are just accidents
Nothing less and nothing more
I come around when she expects it the least
She always looks so strange and tragic
She comes on like some juju priest
Laying down her own brand of magic
She tells me that she’ll be true
She ain’t the type to keep her promises
I used to be down with the faithful man
Now I’m hanging with the doubting Thomases
'Cause accidents keep happening
This old world was born from one
There are servants they don’t govern
And I don’t put too much faith in them
Well, let me tell you a little more about Mabel
She is shaped like an inverted duck pond chair
I roll out my tongue when she walks past
Fix her with my famous jelly-eyed stare
Her husband is a Cro-magnon man with a magnum
He recites the second amendment, Jim
Well, accidents will happen
I’m hoping one might happen to him
We’re accidents waiting to happen
You know they’ll be happening for all time
While you’re having yours
I’ll be having mine
Maybe you and I will get it together
You and I, we will get in together
You and I, we will get it together
You and I, we will get it together