Full Circle

I’m tearing apart at the seams
Still trying to mend these holes in my jeans
Leaving my skin to stain as I bleed
Give up, disintegrate, secede
Toss and turn in this concrete bed
And in the morning I’ll try again
Pray for something to ease my dread
End up with trembling limbs instead and this feels endless
As if there’s not a solace in the world that can mend this
Everything will repeat in the end it’s not a matter of 'if' it’s 'when'
This has happened before it’ll happen again
It comes in waves and I’m pulled below
It’s not subjective, it’s clinical
Drown myself in the undertow of all my imbalanced chemicals
And this cycle comes full circle
This cycle comes full circle again
So back to the needle and the thread
I’ve had enough of this blood I’ve bled
I wanna breathe life in my lungs again
Clear the fog that fucks my head
Without a struggle there can’t be progress
(Even though the weight is crushing me)
Without a struggle there can’t be progress
(Aim to kill, fight defeat)
'Til it comes around again
It comes in waves and I’m pulled below
It’s not subjective, it’s clinical
Drown myself in the undertow of all my imbalanced chemicals
And this cycle comes full circle
This cycle comes full circle again
'Cause I’ve had days that I swore would be my last
And spent months walking on this broken glass
Just to tiptoe towards the thought that maybe someday I’d get back,
to who I used to be
To what I used to see in the mirror
Instead of this misery
And to rid myself of this cloud that will rain down and cause me to slip back
in to my apathy, but I know eventually
I’m gonna come around and maybe it won’t be easy but it will be worth it and
the results will be profound
Because instead of feeling cornered the corners of my mouth will start to point
up
Instead of being anchored down