The Charm Song

Depending on what you want to get
In life there are many etiquettes
The way to get rich is to stitch people up
The way to get laid is to hang around drunks
But there’s one thing you must tell yourself
One principle that comes before all else
It’s something your grandfather knew
Lack of charm can be fatal to you
I once knew a pig from Brazil
Who was ritually slaughtered then killed
The same thing could easily happen to you and me
If we lack the disarming knack
Of being totally charming
I once knew a backbiting bitch
Who told lies that made my eyes itch
The reason that she’s living still
Is that bitch was too charming to kill
Yes it’s something your grandmother knew (that ho)
Lack of charm can be fatal to you