Hustler Hall Of Fame

The road to the top, through cross guards and hard knocks
Copper penny Johns and endless city blocks
Thieves straight as an arrow and crooked rent-a-cops
Shooting craps in the back of vacant city lots
Three ring circus acts and worthless facts
Dancing in my solar soggy bowl of Diggum' Smacks
Fist-fucking faggots at the Y on gym mats
Rats run the wire while I’m looking for a match
I go back and forth just like a Cameo song
Honeys wanna love me but the line is long
So I make 'em take a number
Wake 'em from their slumber
What you know about Mickey?
(He's a bad motherfucker)
Truckers get my digits off the stalls at rest stops
I’m sick on the microphone like smallpox
Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock
Blind old ladies into diabetic shock
It’s all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain’t no ball and chain, to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
It’s all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain’t no ball and chain, to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
I flow like Niagara, go tell your manager
That Mickey Avalon ain’t no motherfuckin' amateur
I fly flicks with my dick at your camera
I rip the stick out my girl’s Porsche Carrera
I brought your whole formula, just warmin' up
Storm the front line and then I find a spot for lunch
Toxic-proof punch when the loot comes
Rocket boosters with my boots run
Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats
Hoes know better find this brother at
I ripped the rubber mats out your lover’s pad
And kicked your mother’s ass right in front of your dad
Last night, a brass pipe and a flashlight
Smashed my crown and left me down with a black eye
The bad guy, walking over landmines, who can’t die but still tries
Leave your gods and your politics back at home
Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone
I gotta girl who likes to talk my ear off, see
So when I’m at the bar stay away from me
Don’t ask for a smoke or to make some change
I don’t care about your kid or your menstrual pains
You can call me rude but I like my solitude
And we don’t need to chat while we’re playing pool
So stay cool mister, I wasn’t lookin' at your sister
That snaggle toothed sea hag, lips all blistered
Now rack the balls while I’m in the stall
Pissin' out vodka and marking up the walls
I turn off the ringer when my lady calls
And don’t point your finger unless you want a brawl
I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball
Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall