What The Back Of His T-Shirt Should Have Said

The tiny T-Shirt stretched over the pecs and biceps of the large handsome man
read
«Virginity is Curable.» But the backside should have said «However,
Genital Herpes
HIV, HPV, unwanted pregnancy or a plain old broken heart, is not.
Now don’t start
Rolling your eyes ‘cause I’m not trying to tell you how to live.
I’m just explaining why I
Choose to live the way I do
I’m well past puberty and I’m still a virgin
I have never made love and I will never «make love.»
Love cannot be made and is not a synonym for getting laid
And just to set the record straight
If I wanted some, I could get some
But I want Someone
Someone that will be in my life past tonight, past next month, past next decade
Someone that won’t say to five other guys the same sweet orgasmic lie, «I, Love,
You.»
Someone who believes sex is the pinnacle of a relationship and not the base of
the
Pyramid
Someone I enjoy being with even when she’s not naked and in my bed
Someone I connect with emotionally, psychologically, spiritually
Someone who’s worth the wait
Someone who believes I’m worth the wait
Someone who doesn’t insist on protection ‘cause she’s not afraid of me or
anything I
Might have contracted
Someone who will be glad to Mother my kids
Someone who won’t hate her child because he looks like me
Someone who will never try her best to eradicate my place in her memory
Someone who knows when her breasts hang low and her wrinkles fold I will not
trade her
For a porno and my right hand
Someone who understands that it takes a strong man to control his passions
Someone who looks forward to loosing them
Some who will put that song on repeat and ooh wee until we faint from fatigue
then wake
The next morning and feel, no, shame. ‘Cause we have the same last name
And our nasty is holy
So thanks for the offer Dr. Lover, but I’ll wait for one who also suffers,
and we’ll cure
Each other