Better Myself

But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like noone sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay
I can’t ahead of myself (myself)
I should try and better myself (myself)
But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like noone sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay
Merkules:
Yeah, I got a plan to make a lot of changes
But it’s harder to breathe when your heart is racin'
I’ve been caught up in constant contemplation
That shit’s not a phase, it’s too complicated
Can’t concentrate when the cuts get deeper
If I were you I wouldn’t love me either
My problem is I’m too fuckin' eager
I got a taste of revenge and there’s nothing sweeter
So I’m numbin' the pain with another substance
Till I lose balance and my blood is rusted
Just another fuck up piss drunk in public
They don’t trust me at all like I’m up to somethin'
Like why can’t they ever hear me screamin'
The preacher told me I might need Jesus
Trapped in my head till I find some freedom
It feels like I’m some sort of evil genius
Please don’t talk to me cause I don’t want to be bothered
And I can’t fall asleep, I’m busy fighting these monsters
Why’s it so hard to breathe, somebody call me a doctor
I think I’m goin' fuckin' bonkers, yeah
Hook:
I can’t ahead of myself (myself)
I should try and better myself (myself)
But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like no one sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay
I can’t ahead of myself (myself)
I should try and better myself (myself)
But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like no one sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay
Savannah Dexter verse:
I can’t ahead of myself (myself)
I should try and better myself (myself)
But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like no one sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay
I can’t ahead of myself (myself)
I should try and better myself (myself)
But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like no one sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay
Rittz:
Look, I thought I quit doin' dope for good
Been smokin' cones of wood cause I (?)
I’m really wishin' I was drunk
I’ve become accustomed to the sober life
Overnight, took a year and nine months
(?) like it don’t mean shit
Every time the phone ring get told to shut the fuck up
And cussed by the one I love but she don’t want no contact
The sheriff gonna come and lock me up for just that
Just ask (???) he’s always on a mission trynna get me took off pills
He don’t wanna write and script and get in trouble
When it’s obvious there’s something that I’m hooked on still
I told him «Look Doc, look I’m chill
Drunk a half a bottle earlier and I don’t even look off keel.»
I just stood on till so much Xanex in my body like I’m runnin' on a football
field
I just wanna better myself
Mama said I know you got your life temporarily taken away
But livin' here is better than jail
Then the minute she said it I felt like killin' myself
I don’t look in no mirror, I don’t step on no scale
I’m so god damn fat, god damn Johnny
Ain’t no god damn money
Every god damn body, what you found that funny
Your heaven’s my HELL
I can’t ahead of myself (myself)
I should try and better myself (myself)
But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like no one sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay
I can’t ahead of myself (myself)
I should try and better myself (myself)
But I’m drowning in the deep end
And it feels like no one sees it
Someone please give me a reason I should stay