Jaspar's Gal

(Spoken:
Memphis Slim: Say, look-a-her man, do you know Jaspar’s got a new gal in town?
Man replies: Sho' nuf man?
Memphis Slim: Yeah man!
Other man: Well, tell me about her)
Now he’s got a girl, she’s shaped like a hog
Her voice reminds me of an old bull dog
Her hair looks just like, a chinchilla coat
You get close up on her, she smells just like a goat
You know she’s smellin'
Got b.o. all the time
And she thinks soap and water
Is a doggone crime
Now her ears are so long, her nose is flat
Her head’s so big she can’t wear no hat
Now her jaws are swollen and she’s got one eye
She looks like a wreck that happened, last July
She’s a ugly
Got b.o. all the time
And she thinks soap and water
Is a doggone crime
Now she must-a been her mother, only child
She should be a gorilla because she sure is wild
Got ways like a monkey, and sly as a fox
She should be in a chain gang, breakin' up rocks
Because she’s ugly
Got b.o. all the time
And she thinks soap and water
Is a doggone crime
Now she got legs like a needle
She ain’t got no chin
She’s a beautiful woman for the shape she’s in
Her feet look like swings way out on a limb