If I Had a Time Machine, that Would Be Fresh

My friend Aileen made a time machine
But was keen on keeping it shiny clean
To travel back in time had always been my dream
So I hatched a scheme and jacked the pod like Ween
AD 33 maybe you would see me
Telling Jesus his friend Judas was untrustworthy
You think that’s fresh? Well just you’d wait
I’d battle rap Chaucer in 1388. I’d tell Lincoln in 1865
Going out to plays alone was somewhat unwise
In 1963, I’d make JFK’s day
I’d say, «before you go to Dallas, wear this helmet, okay?»
In 2001, I’d make the world alright,
I’d go back to 9−11, and cancel all flights
In my time machine, you couldn’t get with me
Because E equals this squared MC
My T-to-the-I-to-the-M-to-the-E. M-A to the C-H-I-N-E
My T-to-the-I-to-the-M-to-the-E. M-A to the C-H-I-N-E
Hey Albert Einstein. Throw your hands in the air.
Props on that whole Theory of Relativity thing.