Jacquelyn Hyde

Corn syrup! We’re breaking up
The doctor explained it: I’m old as Tut
I’m supposed to take pills that mitigate triglycerides
Seems we’re at a crossroads, you and I
Dated for decades, built up trust
Might have loved sugar better but it wasn’t discussed;
We had an agreement: you’d be in everything, I’d eat it
But you lied when you said you’d be all that I needed
She had means, I don’t need to say it
She had dreams I was only in the way of
I pleaded with you, PS2, don’t leave me
You had a change of heart for a while (which was deceiving)
I looked deep inside of you, fine-tuned a lens
Left the screws off, thought we could just be friends
Maybe hook up on occasion, for old times' sake
But you won’t mount a disc now, boot to heartache
It’s just not the same between us, so scat
When your emulator’s old enough, I’m ravishing that
Prosperity, I’ve had it, get thee hence
Better break it off early, not risk suspense
Let a new generation learn to live with fence
And windows with bars and bats that make dents
In heads and… yikes, the lean times are scary!
I changed my mind prosperity, let’s stay married!
You’ve already given up on me? But what of lubs?
The way you turn on a dime, you’re not who I thought you was
Ear infection, I feel betrayed
You used to come visit a lot, plus you stayed
Now it’s like I don’t know you, call you Jacquelyn Hyde.
My ear’s safe and warm yet you wander outside
Where’d you sleep last night? Should I guess?
Doesn’t hurt when I burp: I’m without your distress
How’d you do me like this? That’s it. We’re not together
How’s it my fault, for taking up with eardrops? Whatever
California! Listen, we’re breaking up
I know I left my heart in the heart of you, but
I can’t keep from feeling push came to shove
And you undid the part I was proudest to love
California, I’ll still visit I promise
Not least among charms, you’re the place where my mom is
And I’ll be back. Get your votes rearranged
Till then, we can’t date. It’s your fault, you changed