IWF

I’m a neckbeard when I don’t shave my neck
And you might even catch me vaping in fedoras. Next
You females expect me to let you on my internets
Look at me, I’m chivalrous. Step up, lose your innocence
Get abused into bitterness and log off
Think I’m getting piggy? Well, you’re swilling from the wrong trough
Think I’ve gone soft? My masculinity towers!
I can sit and type shit like this for hours
Without a hint of introspection or fatigue
You can make a sandwich for me, otherwise breed
And incubate my seed. These are your two mainstays
Suck it up, you’re internetting while having vajayjays
(And that was your decision
To show up with those)
Why are you internetting
While you’re female?
Why are you on the line at all
Boy, you’d better get yourself together
It ain’t 2007
Your back is up against the wall
Oh shit, tripped over a dick pic
As I’m skipping through the triple dubs
Every dude wanna show his little nub
And call me fat and ugly? What the fuck?
Um? I’m just trying to live
A femme with opinions: they’re threatened
So they threaten. These mediocre men!
They’re in my biz, always trolling
And… I’m stuck in a spiderweb
‘cause I dared to crawl through the internet
I’m not impressed
And I got a bit I want off my chest
And yes, I don’t exist
For your erection ‘cause all of you is a dick
Drunk on male tears, don’t fuck with me
Throwing bows, fucking up the patriarchy
Why are you internetting
While you’re female?
Why are you on the line at all?
Boy, you’re always creeping in my comments
Uninvited, anonymous
Going to get you uninstalled
Once upon a time in 2009
I opened up Premiere Pro, took a couple of lines
From the Scout in TF2 and matched them up to a beat
I go to sleep and wake up to a thousand subscribers… Sweet
From there it only escalated and I amassed
A vast army of edgelords as fans of my craft
And they all thought I was a man ‘cause «there's no women on the internet,»
A classic adage started for laughs that led to ignorance
I made more tracks for mic spammers to use
And YouTube Poops that hit a few million views
But when I chose to show my true colors, I knew I would lose
Some fans turned their backs upon me in a whirlwind of sexist abuse
Yet all those videos remain on the tubes
And I have superfans who badger me to make something new
Maybe I’ll do it for the cool people. Maybe. Perhaps
But if you want some more Enigma, maybe you could listen to me rap
Hey Chad, your ignorance is blatant
You got a complex and you can’t seem to face it
Instead of trolling on my posts, you should retrace it
Man. Get off Facebook, go to bed, yo here’s a blanket
Statement, opinion, and a fact check from Snopes
Acting like you’re educated on the matter, but nope
See you jumping on a thread and steady watching you choke
Post some politics, you tell me to get back on the boat
Yo, I cringe knowing they allowed you to vote
Demeanor grosser than the scum in between your toes
He-man woman-hater, and your favorite word is «woke,»
Selfie mirror flexing in the cloud of vape smoke
Quoting Joe Rogan, posting how you’re #blessed
The next day online talking trash about your ex
Getting in your feelings ‘cause she denied your request
Blahblahblah bro, bro, bro you’re a mess
Well, actually! Not all of us act as you say
Be exact! You’re sounding irrational. Facts are the way
Ladies, thanks for sharing all your memoirs
And all your little femme scars that would’ve been far
Likelier ignored if endured by men online
Simply be us, you’ll have an easier time
Or log off! Why are you here? I won’t follow you
I get to be worse than any of you, if not all of you