Not Ready to Die Yet

So I slept through the autumn, slept through the spring
I don’t know how it happened but I let it win
All of my life I’ve been awake but not here
I’m not great at living, just surviving nightmares
Slept through Christmas, all of the parties
I’m sorry my love there’s nothing else I can see
I’m not ready to die yet, I’m not ready to give up this fight
I still believe in hope though the voices are loud tonight
I’m not ready to die yet, I’m not ready to lie down
But the fate of the end is I will make it somehow
Shame is gigantic, sits loud in my ear drum
It is not beautiful, I don’t know where it comes from
But I’m learning forgiveness, it’s more than a mantra
Can I be honest? I don’t think I deserve it
I want to break gently but something won’t give
A marathon of hurt, can I just fucking live?
I’m not ready to die yet, I’m not ready to give up this fight
I still believe and hope that the voices are loud tonight
I’m not ready to die yet, I’m not ready to lie down
But the fate of the end is I’ll make it somehow
I’m not ready to die yet
I’m not ready to die yet
I’m not ready to die yet
I’m not ready…