Decidedly Dumb

She’s a liar
And full of good intentions
It’s hard to know where to start
When a part of you dies
Yet to the casual eye still appears to be alive
What do you say
Words are scarce and sulky little bulldogs
Cowering in between the negatives in the drawer
Beneath the blu-tak
Beneath the sellotape
Decidedly scared
Couldn’t we make a run
Make fools out of everyone
And never let on
How the trick was played
In the evening
Butterflies come creeping
It’s hard to know where to go to dispose of them
I’m sure I wasn’t this cruel once
But somewhere along the way
I learned how not to care
It was for my own good
I shut up when I had to
It’s funny how we come to exercise this restraint
In the face of uncertainty
The face of adversity
Decidedly calm
Why grandma
What big troubles you have
All the better for making you pay my dear
What’s the point of being half in love
Still it’s hard to know where to stop
Repetitive actions
Inevitable weathering systems
Take the strain
Ready to tug
Slide in the mud
Bully for us
That fistful of butterfly dust
Scattered from a palm raised in supplication and hope
But then I let go
I let go and lost
Decidedly dumb
With what I felt for you
What I felt I ought to
It’s hard to know what to write
When the pen only does alternate letters
I look like I shiver
I miss you
Ah yeah
She’s a liar
And full of good intentions
It’s hard to know where to start