The Life Of A Troubadour

Clean up the dungeon, the king is home
You know he’s gonna wanna hear another sing-along
Bring the crown downstairs and the blingy robe
Hood sort of jewels, man, he can’t leave them things alone
He said the crown looks mush, is he wrong?
Doesn’t matter, grapes on the platter
I was with the princess last night
After the Mad Hatter got mad at her
Man, I don’t want the throne, the woman’s a disaster
I’m just tryna bag her a couple more times
Then I’ll give her back, he can have her
Here, help me with the ladder
I’ve been feeling under pressure, baby
Got me feeling these feels inside
I’ve been feeling under pressure, baby
Got me feeling these feels inside
I’ma have to ride this horse 'til springtime
Shoulda never drank all the king’s wine
'Cause when I woke up, I was still wearing my wig
I walked down the hall
Saw the king’s head, it was next to the pig’s, crown and all
And guess what? The blood’s on my saber
Ha, see you later
If I don’t disappear, they gonna put me in charge of this shit
And I just wanna play my guitar for this bitch
Oh yeah, I took the princess, too
She’s a Stage 5 clinger
Probably thinks I’ma give her a ring-a on her finger
But fuck that shit
All these princess bitches just wanna fuck a singer, a singer
And the singer just wants to sing, fuck, I’m gettin' tired
My saddle’s too small and my legs are on fire
I haven’t eaten in days, I wanna go home
This bitch drank all my wine and there’s no smoke
And I know, and I know that your family’s all dead
But what the fuck were they feeding you?
Hog heads? Fat bitch
Matter fact, get off the horse
Yeah, I’ll be right back
I’m on my own now with the stupid horse
The life of a troubadour
I’ve been feeling under pressure, baby
Got me feeling these feels inside
I’ve been feeling under pressure, baby
Got me feeling these feels inside
Uh-huh, yeah, killed the king with that drunk singer’s sword
Where’s the princess? Oliver, bring her forward
The king had no sons, so now the throne’s mine
Once I bag the princess, I’m in the bloodline
Talk to me Oliver
We searched up and down
The princess of yours is nowhere to be found
Jack saw her leave at the crack of dawn, and guess what?
What? She was on the troubadour’s arm
Now Oliver, you gotta be kidding me
Two nights ago, I fucked her 'til my dick broke
One night, one fight and she’s gone, this a sick joke?
And for a muhfuckin' singer? Oh no, oh no
I’m the Mad Hatter, if she ain’t fuckin' with me
Then nobody else can have her
I’ma find him if it even means searchin' all of Liverpool
Tie a horse to each limb, and let 'em pull
Ha, giddy up
There he is, I see him
We meet again, where’s the woman?
I left her 20 miles back in the mountains
I’d be very surprised if she’s still alive
Going up Peter’s Pass this time of year would be ill advised, ill advised
Honestly, I didn’t love her, I only loved being alone
But I need her for the throne
Fuck the throne, man, it’s too much work
People hanging on every single goddamn word
Enough, tie him up, I got a idea right now (Huh?)
Give me a dagger, put a apple in his mouth
I ain’t gonna leave you here to starve out
I’ma slice your fingers off, play guitar now
Take his little tambourine, too, what’s he gonna use it for?
The death of a troubadour
I’ve been feeling under pressure, baby
Got me feeling these feels inside
I’ve been feeling under pressure, baby
Got me feeling these feels inside