Zeit

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking
We hope you’re enjoying Eastern’s flight 37
Non-stop from New York to Miami Beach
We’re right on schedule, however, we do expect a little turbulence up ahead so
we advise you to keep your seat belts fastened and just in case you should
experience some discomfort, I am going to turn you over this time to our fine
group of cabin attendants
Girls?
Ladies and gentlemen, you will find located in the seat pocket directly in
front of you an air sickness bag
In the event of sickness brought on by air turbulence, simply open the bag,
place your mouth directly over the opening, and vomit, like so;
Then seal the bag and push the overhead button to summon a cabin attendant for
disposal
If there is anything else we can do to make your flight more pleaseant, please,
don’t hesitate t-
Don’t move lady! this is a gun in your back
Ok everybody, sit down, this is a hijack (a hijack!)
Alright, nobody moves and nobody gets hurt
Never again! (x2)
Ok, I’m warning you!
Never again!
Enough!
Never again!
I’m going to shoot!
Never again!
I’m going to shoot, i’m going to do it!
Never again!
The crazy bastard shot himself!
Why call from far away?
If you don’t listen