Table For One

I’m walking down in the basement
I’m leaning on the washing machine
I’m reaching back through a hole in the wall’s insulation
I’m pulling out a bottle of vodka
Replacing that with a pint of Jim Bean
I’m lying down on the floor until I feel better
It’s morning and I pour myself coffee
I drink it til the kitchen stops shaking
I’m backing out of the driveway
And into creation
And the loving spirit that follows me Watching helplessly, will always forgive me Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me I want to bring down all those demons who drank with me Feasting bleed through me On my desperation
I hide all the bottles in places
They find and confront me with pain in their eyes
And I promise that I’ll make some changes
But reaching back it occurs to me There will always be some kind of crisis for me Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me I want to bring back all those moments they stole from me In my reverie
Darkening days end
Oh, I want to die alone
With my memories inside me I want to live that life
When I could say people had faith in me
I still see that guy in my memory
Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me I want to bring down all those people who drank with me Watching happily
My humiliation