Be Safe

One of those fucking awful black days
When nothing is pleasing and everything that happens
Is an excuse for anger
An outlet for emotions stockpiled
An arsenal. An armour
These are the days when I hate the world
Hate the rich, hate the happy
Hate the complacent — the TV watchers
The beer drinkers, the satisfied ones
Because I know I can be all of those little hateful things
And then I hate myself for realizing that
There is no preventative directive or safe approach to living
We each know our own fate
We know from our youth how we are treated
How we’ll be received, how we shall end
These things don’t change
You can change your clothes
Change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents
But sooner or later your own self will always catch up
Always it waits in the wings
(Ideas swirl but don’t stick
They appear but then run off like rain on the windshield)
One of those rainy day car rides, my head imploding
The atmosphere in this car a mirror of my skull
Wet, damp, windows dripping and misted with cold
Walls of grey. Nothing good on the radio, not a thought in my head
I know a place we can go where you’ll fall in love so hard that
You’ll wish you were dead
Let’s take life and slow it down incredibly slow
Frame by frame
The two minutes that take ten years to live out
Yeah, let’s do that
«Telephone poles like praying mantis against the sky
Metal arms outstretched»
So much land travelled, so little sense made of it
It doesn’t mean a thing, all this land laid out behind us
I’d like to take off into these woods and get good and lost for a while
I’m disgusted with petty concerns
Parking tickets, breakfast specials
Does someone just have to carry this weight?
Abstract topography
Methane covenant
Linear gospel
Asheville sales lady
Stygian emissary
Torturous lice
Mad Elizabeth
Chemotherapy bullshit
I know a place we can go where you’ll fall in love so hard that
You’ll wish you were dead
The light within me shines like a diamond mine
Like an unarmed walrus
Like a dead man face down on a highway
Like a snake eating its own tail
A steam turbine, frog pond
Too-full closets burst open in disarray
Soap bubbles in the sun
Hospital death bed, red convertible, shopping list, blowjob
Deaths head, devils dancing, bleached white buildings, memory movements
The movie unpeeling, unreeling, about to begin
I know a place we can go where you’ll fall in love so hard that
You’ll wish you were dead
I see yr hallway, you are a dark hallway
I’ve hear your stairs creak
I can fix my mind on your 'yes' and your 'no'
I’ll film your face today in the sparkling canals
All red yellow blue green brilliance and silvered Dutch reflections
Racing thoughts — racing thoughts, all too real
Your moving so fast now, I can’t hold your image
This image I have of your face by the window
Me standing beside you, arm on your shoulder
A catalogue of images, flashing glimpses, then gone again
I am tethered to this post you’ve sunk in me
And every clear afternoon now I’ll think of you: up in the air
Twisting your heel, your knees up around me, my face in your hair
You scream so well, your smile so loud still rings in my ears
I know a place we can go where you’ll fall in love so hard that
You’ll wish you were dead
Inefficient distant tide of longing
Cleaning my teeth
Stay the course
Hold the wheel
Steer on to freedom
Open ALL the boxes
OPEN ALL the boxes
OPEN ALL THE BOXES
Times Square, midday, newspaper building, news headlines going around
We watch as they go (and hope for some good ones!)
Those tree-shadows in the park here, all whispering, shaking leaves
Around 6pm
Shadows across the cobblestones
Girl in front of bathroom mirror
She slow and careful paints her face green, mask-like
Like Matisse, «Portrait with Green Stripe»
Long shot through apartment window
A monologue on top but no girl in shot
The light within me shines like a diamond mine
Like an unarmed walrus, like a dead man face down on a highway
Like a snake eating it’s own tail
A steam turbine, frog pond
Too-full closet burst open in disarray, soap bubbles in the sun
Hospital death bed, red convertible, shopping list, blowjob
Deaths head, devils dancing, bleached white buildings, memory movements
The movie unpeeling, unreeling, about to begin
That was great by me
Yeah? Mine were alright. Wasn’t my best one but who cares?
That’s the spirit