Oh My Violence

I used to believe I needed to be torn in two, reached inside of by you
To be put back together better than myself
Do I need to have a gnaw on the cud of my heart?
When I pine for my own love
And I can’t seem to warm up to myself
I get lost in the losing
I get lost, lost, lost, lost
In the television where a sermon lurches toward me like a semi swerving
What’s worse, the pastor is cursing under his breath
He can’t find the passage to back up the argument he is having with himself
And I see a page in his Bible rip clean out
As I drift off to sleep staring through the mountains in the motel painting
And my dream leaves itself with me
I am falling from the peak but instead of you, I’m calling out to me
I get lost, lost, lost, lost
In my waking life where I can’t wrench me from my mind
Clear enough to wrench you from it too
In an attempt to step back into myself without bringing you
If I could see today in all its glory, I believe I would be humbled
But the past, it has such a charisma, I feel it catching up
And I better run, run, so I don’t get lost
In that scene where I cursed you on the street
And you returned it to me with a look so kind
It’s impossible to describe beyond this perplexed mention
Now I bow my head in disbelief at how loaded of a lesson
How loaded of a lesson
Now there is no greater challenge than taming my violence
Living with it long enough to rid it
In the lake of pure intention, in the wilderness of forgiveness
I’ll show it compassion
I’ll pull it to me 'til we both fall asleep