Surrender

It’s not that I don’t care
I know its here somewhere
But its more than I can bare to take
I lie awake at night
I never win the fight
Its an addiction I cant shake
Its overbearing me Growing, flowing, showing
I surrender, forever
I fold, I played the losing card
I’m under
Its over
I give it up its all too hard
It’s not I’m unsure
I’ve heard it all before
But I cant help wanting more to keep
You just don’t understand
The way I really am Its all I ever can be But underneath it all
I’m breaking, waking, shaking
And now I face it all
I’m falling, crawling, stalling