Flash, Bang, Wallop!

All lined up in a wedding group
Here we are for a photograph
We’re all dressed up in a morning suit
All trying hard not to laugh
Since the early caveman in his fur
Took a trip to Gretna Green
There’s always been a photographer
To record the happy scene
Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap hands, stamp your feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your family album
The same thing happened long ago
When man was in his prime
And what went on we only know
From the snaps he took at the time
When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit
Decided to get wed
As Adam was about to taste the fruit
The man with the camera said
Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap hands, stamp your feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your family album
You’ve read it in a folio
Or seen it in a Shakespeare play
How Juliet fell for Romeo
In the merry month of May
And as he climbed the orchard wall
To reach his lady fair
As he tumbled, she began to bawl
As he floated through the air
Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor young chap, what a night he spent
Tights all torn and his rapier bent
Clap hands, stamp your feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your family album