Be a Charver

Charvers divven’t take selfies
Too busy taking mad pills
Getting wrecked and drinking special brew
If you wanna be a charver then it’s up to you
Listen to the words ‘cause I’m gonna tell you what to do
Charvers divven’t take selfies
Too busy taking mad pills
And getting paid up from the welfie
This is a gift from me to you
Listen to the song and you can be a chav too
Aye that’s right I said paid daft cunt
Do you wanna know how much I fuckin' made last month
£27 a week, a ton a month for doing nowt
Fuckin' sitting on my arse watchin' telly drinking cans
And I’m living like this because I can
And I wouldn’t want it any other way
No way José
If you don’t know the rules to the game don’t play
Grab a lighter and a bong and
Smoke weed every day
Us chavs are put on planet earth for other reasons
Like breaking your grandmas windows and stealing
Playing hardcore rave in the evening
And turning it up while your neighbours are sleeping
Cash doesn’t rule anything around me
‘Cause I’ve got neen
You can’t be ruled by something that you haven’t seen
Hash rules everything around me
As long as I’ve got weed I’m happy
That’s all I ever need
Charvers divven’t take selfies
Too busy taking mad pills
Getting wrecked and drinking special brew
If you wanna be a charver then it’s up to you
Listen to the words ‘cause I’m gonna tell you what to do
Charvers divven’t take selfies
Too busy taking mad pills
And getting paid up from the welfie
This is a gift from me to you
Listen to the song and you can be a chav too
But I’ve never really found that I was lacking the cash
I’ve always just found enough to get out on the lash
And if you try to send me bills I’ll tell you «had thee pash»
If you get up in me face I’ll fucking slap thee tash
But I’ll still say «ere will ya lend Iz twenny pence eww?»
Ya divven’t wanna fight Iz ‘cause I got some mad chav moves
Stand with me chest puffed out like a statue
Shoe comes loose, pull it off and throw it at you
Being a chav is like being the bad guy
At the end of the movie, he won’t leave and he won’t die
Just keeps coming back for more with more guys
And he can’t even feel anything because he’s that high
Man, I fucking hate that guy
This is how to be a charver if you wanna do it don’t try
Just do it and if you never knew it
Never get a job and if you get a job then you should never do it
To all my other jobseekers get this record
Turn it on and turn it up and blast it from your speakers
Make sure you play it all the way through the weekend
Then get wrecked, get to bed and just leave it
So I’m not about to go out there and get a job
Anything I want man I’m given ‘cause it’s on the rob
I don’t think you need to work to do what you want
As long as what you wanna do is get high and be a cock
I don’t need a boss fucking telling me off
I’m the one who does the shouting at runners and goths
«circus»
Circus is that the best you can come up with?
Well he’s on a unicycle and he’s different than us
So you can see that I would never take a selfie
And if you wanna be a charver like me then you can help me
The chorus comes up on the next bar
Grab your bong, fill it up, light it up, turn it up and sing it with me
Charvers divven’t take selfies
Too busy taking mad pills
Getting wrecked and drinking special brew
If you wanna be a charver then it’s up to you
Listen to the words ‘cause I’m gonna tell you what to do
Charvers divven’t take selfies
Too busy taking mad pills
And getting paid up from the welfie
This is a gift from me to you
Listen to the song and you can be a chav too