Anxiety

It’s happenin' again, it’s happenin' again
But you can’t tell nobody, they gon' think you crazy
It’s happenin' again, it’s happenin' again
Just let it pass, boy, you’ll be good, baby
Wakin' up’s a struggle, I used to want to hustle
I used to want the whole world to know that I existed, now I cuddle
In the bed with myself, hopin' the phone don’t ring
Hopin' a text don’t come through or email don’t bling
I feel funny, shouldn’t I be happy? I get money
Instead, I put on all new clothes and feel crummy
But I’m showin' up for work like I’m a-okay
Anxiety? Who, me? No way, José
I hide behind a smile while my mind is runnin' wild
Nervous for no reason, heart beatin' like a mile a minute
Where’s the nearest bathroom? I’m in it
Splash some water on my face, wipe it dry, let’s get it
That’s my life in a nutshell, feel like I’m goin' nuts, well
Let’s keep it on the low, can’t let 'em know that you ain’t upscale
I shouldn’t even carry real ID
Forgot what it feels like to really feel like me
Okay, oh no, first I can’t catch a breath
Feel the moisture as I begin to sweat (Damn)
I start feelin' dizzy like my balance left (Whoa)
And now my heart’s beatin' like it’s out my chest (No)
It’s happenin' again, it’s happenin' again
But you can’t tell nobody, they gon' think you crazy
It’s happenin' again, it’s happenin' again
Just let it pass, boy, you’ll be good, baby
Sometimes I hear a song and wanna cry
It brings me to before I was this guy and puts water in my eyes
I keep my faith strong, if there’s a Lord up in the sky
I pray that I feel happy one more time before I die
I get glimpses, then it’s gone in an instance
Joy’s in front of me and then it’s off in the distance
No one in my phone book I could call for assistance
'Cause they won’t understand what I be goin' through, what is this?
Why won’t it go away? Never thought I would know a day
That the ship captain started actin' like a stowaway
I’m thinkin' 'bout a meetin' tomorrow with sweaty palms, now
Like, if I catch a panic attack, how can I calm down?
Nervous that I might feel nervous, what a vicious cycle
I see myself fadin' away without the Vitiligo
I hit the gym and try to get off some steam
But I get anxiety just tryna pick a machine
Some pictures make me smile 'cause my figure is lean
And then the very next thought is «I can’t get in them jeans»
Wish that I could go to sleep, wake up and life is sweet
But truth is, I fight this beast in the middle of dreams
Okay, oh no, first I can’t catch a breath
Feel the moisture as I begin to sweat (Damn)
I start feelin' dizzy like my balance left (Whoa)
And now my heart’s beatin' like it’s out my chest (No)
It’s happenin' again, it’s happenin' again
But you can’t tell nobody, they gon' think you crazy
It’s happenin' again, it’s happenin' again
Just let it pass, boy, you’ll be good, baby