Ramblin', Scramblin'

Ramblin', scramblin'
Tryin' to get my mind untangled
Ain’t never seen nothin' in the whole wide world
That give more trouble than to try 'n' love a girl
Like most everybody I’ve had bad luck, you know I’ve been down and out and
didn’t have a buck
I’ve been hired and fired and loved and mistrusted and three or four women left
me busted
Took my money… Took my lovin'… Took my toothpaste too
First went ramblin' a few years ago, some fool woman she tried to tell me no
I had an ol' leather bag it wasn’t even mine, I had a heart full of sorrow and
a tangled up mind
She done it… She kept squezzing toothpaste in my ear… She said I couldn’t
leave
Took 3 or 4 steps backwards and gave her a dropkick right in the crotch
Her eyes lit up and said oh your leaving… yeah
Yeah, I headed for New Orleans Louisiana and all night drinkin' and jazz piano
That music in the air will set your toes a tappin' but those hustlin' women
sent me a packin'
Lickity split… I split
Met a gal down there said she came from way out west, said she could roll a
cigarette with just one hand
She proved it… she rolled me with the other
Yeah, I grabbed my bag I had my hat in my hand, took the advice to go west
young man
I figured now I’d finally learned my lesson, me and women weren’t messin'
Met another un… Wasn’t too good lookin'… But juggs whew
I’m not saying she’s a big chick or anything but one time I did ask her what
size bra she wore
She said 6 7/8. I said my god what did you measure it with… She said Stetson
whew
Yeah well, I got to Californ-i-a, I figured it was time I headed her my way
She was talking about us and having a home and I was talking about us and
livin' in Uncle Henry’s basement
She said what… said she didn’t understand
I proceeded to take 3 or 4 steps backwards and give her a dropkick right in the
crotch
I said honey I believe in treating women gentle but first you’ve got to get
their attention
Yeah, the same things have happened over again, every time I meet a woman she
tries to pin me in
Found the only way to handle a woman is to keep your bags packed, keep movin',
steppin' lightly
Eyes forward, proud, determined, masculine
Probably get horny
Can’t live with 'em and you can’t live without em
That’s why I write so many of these weird songs I guess