Gweilo

Clearly I’m white
Yes, that’s a 古箏
This is just a bit of fun with my Asian friends, we don’t speak for anyone else
Try not to take it too seriously (一, 二, 三, 四)
Been trying since last October
Still can’t hold chopsticks properly
Tiffany says she’s sober, but she’s still tryna give me broccoli
生舊叉燒好過生你 (哎呀)
It’s mad I saw some white guys, see an Asian cough and hide
You’re the one who needs advice on hygiene if you wear your shoes inside (笨蛋)
Yes I think milk is spicy, cause being Caucasian’s not a phase
Guess I got that ADH2 (傻瓜), that alcohol dehydrogenase
They call me 鬼佬
But they’r the best peopl out here that I know
Yeah
Being Chinese in the West, where do I even begin? I was scared to wear a mask
when Corona started
Calling me a bat eater, snake eater, dog eater
I’m pescatarian
You speak good English, oh thanks, it’s cause you colonised us
I saw Boohoo was selling 旗袍 tops with giant cut-outs to show boobage
The Daily Mail was calling Demi Mawby sexy for wearing it
I’m sorry, how is that not cultural appropriation? 旗袍 aren’t meant to be sexy
Not by a long shot
How Far East is the Far East, huh
Thoroughly disappointed by the lack of Asian representation and exoticisation
in the media
You got a shirt that says moon in Chinese, but it don’t make you their saviour
While we’re here, why is it that barbers never figured out how to manage Asian
hair
And all you white girls wearing cheongsams, obvious that you’ve got no respect
Can’t even wear a mask for a bit without complaining, that’s your own defect
Same energy as people avoiding the Chinese takeaway when Corona hit
Your stereotypes are tasteless just like that time you swore you could make an
Asian dish (饭桶)
They call me 鬼佬 (哎呀)
But they’re the best people out here that
我的天啊, what is that 紅毛 doing
Jeng Shin says I need to get out there
I thought that’s kind of funny when it’s coming from you
Apparently my cooking is an absolute nightmare, big talk from someone who’s
only five foot two
I wonder who said that Asian people were quiet, when really I never heard
anyone so loud
Like Katrina singing all the hits from Six until I kinda wish I put my head in
a shroud
Let’s talk about Chinese tattoos, some of you been truly duped
You think it says peace and love, but it’s really chicken noodle soup
Now you probably guessed that I’m joking, and my verse is nearly over
In all honesty I couldn’t live my life without them, like an ABG and boba
Straight up (哎呀)