Grab US by the Pussy

I was born in post-Nazi Germany.
In 1981.
Ronald Reagan just got into office, man, there’s been a cold war going on.
Deutschland, my homeland, so divided!
But you tore down wall and helped us reunite it, America, America!
You taught us democracy, freedom of speech, equality and liberty.
You gave us David Hasselhoff, one of the greatest actors and singers there’ll
ever be.
You brought us the McRib, Windows ME, Type II-Diabetes and the great Bill Cosby,
America, so inspiring,
your soon-to-be foresightful foreign policy!
America, God shed His grace on thee.
And thy new triumphant maxim so full of modesty.
Grab ‘em by the pussy!
You can do anything!
You are a star, go on and do it!
Move on ‘em like a bitch!
Grab the whole world by the pussy!
You can do anything!
Don’t even ask, go on and do it!
You don’t need to use some Tic Tacs!
Some many great American idols,
Dennis Rodman, Rudy Giuliani, and the great actor from Happy Days.
Almost as awesome as Fonzy.
America, we thank you for your recent contributions to political culture.
You definitely killed it bigly this time.
And that means something coming from a German!
Thank you for lowering the bar.
You taught us lately, everyone can make it, if one is just great enough — and a
TV-Star.
Grab ‘em by the pussy!
You can do anything!
You are a star, go on and do it!
Move on ‘em like a bitch!
Grab the whole world by the pussy!
You can do anything!
Don’t even ask, go on and do it!
You don’t need to use some Tic Tacs!
We love the new spirit of your nation! Let’s hand in hand walk into isolation!
Grab ‘em by the pussy!
You can do anything!
You are a star, go on and do it!
Move on ‘em like a bitch!
Grab the whole world by the pussy!
You can do anything!
Don’t even ask, go on and do it!
You don’t need to use some Tic Tacs!