I Wish I Wasn't Awake

I force myself to sleep
It’s useless
Hopelessness burns my throat
the thin damp sheets
feel so heavy
I lost the value of this life
wishing to never wake again
into this painful nothingness
Where promises rot
colors fade and flowers wilt
My body aches
I am so tired of the thoughts and whispers
that pollute my tears
An inescapable emptiness
if only I could persevere
to be more than a dimly lit memory
lost in stillness
The days are my sighs
this bed my solace
I can’t even begin to recall
the number of times
I wish I wasn’t awake…