Radiation

I heard it said that time heals all, but I think that’s wrong/
Cuz it’s been forever since that date with the atom bomb/
And it’s less now I guess how it hurts has diminished/
But when I’m feeling these feelings I know that they’re far from finished/
Maybe I’m tryna move past too fast/
And these side effects are just part of life, postblast/
I wanna love again, trust again, too/
But I am so ficklehearted
Unstable in all I do/
Impatient inpatient in Cardiological hospital/
I can’t Cruise through the aftermath; that is Mission Impossible/
I wanna be better already, but I’m just not/
Even long after I’m still feeling the shock/
I still feel it even years later/
I get vapid & detached; everything has been rehashed/
And memories are time machines that take me to the crater/
I promise I’ve let go, it’s just deeper than you know/
Radiadiation
In me/ (3x)
I promise I’ve let go, it’s just deeper than you know/
I don’t wanna hurt you but I’m still hurting/
?So day to day my hearts uncertain/
And maybe you can be a part of my recovery/
Or maybe I’m pursuing you when I haven’t discovered me/
In the name of selfdiscovery;
Realize who you already are in Jesus **
Maybe I’m running on legs that are broken/
Maybe I’m tryna breathe you in but I’m chokin/
Cuz the haze from my past ain’t clear/
I’m hurting so I’m hurting other people who’re near/
I’m paranoid I’ll accidentally call you by her name/
Souls get tattooed on our own, but some tattoos turn to stains/
I love you… I love her right? Please bear up with this mess/
I trust things will get better as God treats me for this bomb sickness/
I’ve heard it said that time heals all but I think that’s wrong/
Cuz time has no power to help us let go and move on/
Duration doesn’t help me forgive, doesn’t help me entrust/
What happened into the Hands of the One who’s working good for us/
But time infused with Jesus: that can heal a heart/
But it doesn’t mean we’ll be free from our every scar/
It means, though sick, we trust that by & by/
He’ll heal us and till then through wounded souls we know his power shines/
I know I’m stricken with sickness so I’m just gonna rest/
Let Him heal me; hear His heart with my head on His chest/
He works for those who wait, I’m in His place & at his pace/
No good does He withhold from those who walk upright so let us wait/
Maybe part of letting go’s holding on to a new hand/
And banking on His goodness and relinquishing what you planned/
Maybe my demons never leave with the passage of time/
Help me learn to live with them like a Beautiful Mind/