He Without Sin Ii) Heels of the Hands

I thought I was a bad person
I was a dirty little girl
I never once blamed the priest
I hated myself
I was violated
I was a 9/10 year old kid
Thinking he’s committed the worst sin in the world
I hated myself because of what happened
He’s gonna like this kid
He told me, every time my life
There’s pretty much immediately self blame, self guilt
And I turned inward, I hated myself
I would do everything, everything
I was very confused
All my life I have struggled with intimacy
To seek out and find this priest, to beg him for forgiveness
As I was convinced that this was the best thing
This is what happens when people love each other
Whether or not he was smart
This is love this is natural this is normal
I didn’t love myself for it
I didn’t think anyone would love me
It wasn’t his fault, it was mine