Two Little Babes in the Wood

There’s a tale of two little orphans who
Were left in their uncle’s care
To be reared and ruled and properly schooled
'Til they grew to be ladies fair
But, oh, the luckless pair
For the uncle, he was a cruel trustee
And he longed to possess their gold
So he led them thence to a forest dense
Where he left them to die of cold
That, at least, is what we’re told
They were two little babes in the wood
Two little babes, oh so good
Two little hearts
Two little heads
Longed to be home in their two little beds
So the two little birds built a nest
Where the two little babes went to rest
While the breeze, hovering high
Sang a last lullaby
To the two little babes in the wood
They were lying there in the freezing air
When fortunately there appeared
A rich old man in a big sedan
And a very, very fancy beard
He saw those girls and cheered
Then he drove them down to New York Town
Where he covered them with useful things
Such as bonds and stocks, and Paris frocks
And oriental pearls in strings
And a showcase full of rings
Now, those two little babes in the wood
Are the talk of the whole neighborhood
For they’ve too many cars
Too many clothes
Too many parties and too many beaus
They have learned that the fountain of youth
Is a mixture of gin and vermouth
And the whole town’s agreed
That the last thing in sleep
Is the two little babes in the wood