Human Drama Kind of Thing

Everything you thought you knew
Leave that all behind
Just keep one hand on the truck
And try not to lose your mind
This is not a child’s game
This is not a game of chance
(sung)
It’s a sharp-honed skill
It’s a test of will
It’s keeping still
When the Devil tells you…"Dance!"
It’s more than a contest
It’s more than dumb luck
It’s more than extra cash
It is much more than a truck!
Someone’s gonna cry here
Someone will go insane
Someone will be laughing
At someone else’s pain
Someone’s bound for glory
The rest are bound to lose
You’ll get a hundred different stories
With a
Hundred point of views!
Ev’ry Texan needs a ride
And this truck is bona fide
But only one can grab that ring
And God alone knows what He’ll bring!
It’s a human drama kind of thing!
This is Frank Nugent, comin' to ya live from the Hands on a Hardbody contest,
here at Floyd King Nissan!
Floyd King Nissan!
Pick up and go!
Some are on vacation
Some are unemployed
Someone will drive home elated
Someone will walk home destroyed
Everybody’s broke here
Tryin' to make ends meet
Pay a debt back, had a setback
Gotta get back on our feet
So don’t make any judgments
Let the players play
Leave the judging to the Judge
Who’ll judge us all on Judgment Day
Bring your family, come alone
Grab a corn dog or a cone
Get yourself a bleacher seat
In the shade out of the heat
For this human drama kind of thing!
If I win this truck, all my troubles are through
Just keep holdin' on
That’s what I’m gonna do!
Someone’s gettin' lucky, now who will it be?
It’s me! It’s me!
Today’s contestants underwent a grueling screening process, did they not?
We drew their names out of a hat. Business cards or beer coasters,
it’s all in the luck of the draw!
I put my name in early
There’s tricks that you can do
I sprinkled mine with cola
So it sticks to you like glue
I put my faith in Jesus!
He always sees me through
I put my name in thirty-two times, thirty-two times!
I got six mouths to feed, and these are
Troubling times!
I rode my bike here every day!
That pile of bills won’t go away
I drive a car ain’t got no brakes
And I’ll do anything it takes!
I never won nothin', I came all the same
I thought I would die when they called out my name!
I prayed for a change to come year after year
It’s here! It’s here! It’s here!
Like the great Ali did
When he changed his name from Cassius
Everybody’s hopin' to rise
Once more from the ashes!
O Lord — it’s been a real tough year
Thank You for this chance right here
I’m shaking and I’m sick with fear, but
Can I bend Your ear a minute?
Look at all these people in it
Jesus, I just got to win
This truck!
This truck!
This truck this truck this truck!
The rules! One time, and one time only
Breaks are fifteen minutes once every six hours
You may not lean, squat, or rest your legs
At no time may you remove your hand from the truck
And that hand must be covered! We’ve got these cotton gloves, courtesy of True
Value Hardware
No guns, no profanity
No alcohol or drugs
Don’t make any judgments
Let the players play
Leave the judging to the Judge
Who’ll judge us all on Judgment Day!
This could be my ticket out
Long as I just stick it out
Get a good seat in the stands
For the layin' on of hands!
Gloves on!
It’s a human drama kind of thing!
I’ll stand here for days in the crowds and the heat!
I ain’t givin' up!
I’m the cowboy to beat!
Someone’s gettin' lucky, now who will it be?
It’s me!
It’s me!
I’ve been feelin' kind of low
It’s a human drama kind of thing!
No work since two years ago
It’s a human drama kind of thing!
Guess who’s driving home this truck?
It’s me!
I’m little, but I think I’m big
Gonna get all Rambo on this rig!
Here’s redemption, no tax exemption
But transportation and inspiration
If I just stand and I keep my hand on this thing!
It’s a human drama kind of thing!
I’ll honk my horn again, be reborn again
Busted flat, now I’m up to bat and I swing!
The way it’s lookin' here to me
The winner’s gonna have to be — Benny!
A body’s got to feel his worth
Reason for his time on earth
Guess who’s driving home this truck?
It’s-
Can I bend Your ear a minute?
Okay, people! Let’s start this puppy!
Won’t You let me drive home in it?
Ten seconds!
Jesus, I just got to win this-
Five!
Truck! This truck! This truck!
Hands on!